It's Time We Celebrate Ourselves

Today, I am celebrating one whole year of No Unpaid Passengers being out in the world! ðŸŽ‰
 


When DeMico came home with this (huge) surprise canvas, I felt mixed emotions - joy, happiness, overwhelm, and...imposter syndrome.
 


I worked really hard for this book. The writing of these poems over two years (and the way some of them like "How to Build a House" vulnerably cracked me wide open). The editing process, the cover design, the press & interviews, the BOOK TOUR...and yet, when I looked at the magnitude of this beautiful canvas...I felt like I didn't deserve it.

"Why is the cover so big?!" I nervously asked DeMico.

He cocked his head and looked at me curiously. He paused a beat before simply replying, "Because this was a big accomplishment and you deserve to be celebrated."

*cue the waterfall of tears*

I don't know about you, but my brain is hardwired to minimize good news. It's as if my brain believes that if I pat myself on the back too hard, I'll break. Which often translates to not patting myself on the back at all. Not celebrating the milestones. Just keep moving forward to the next thing. Complicating all of this is the fact that I'm an internal processor - it takes time & deep reflection for me to really grasp when I've accomplished a thing. With life moving at a nonstop pace, it can be difficult to sit down & take the time I need to really understand a moment.

DeMico was right though. I deserve to be celebrated! No Unpaid Passengers is not just a title - it's a mantra. A commitment to shedding the people, places, & things that don't have good intentions for me. This includes imposter syndrome! In fact, imposter syndrome (or Nancy, as my bestie L'Oreal calls it in her new book Stop Waiting for Perfect - out now!!!) is, in and of itself, an unpaid passenger. It clings to me and whispers - "It's not that big of a deal, calm down, no one likes a showboat." BYE NANCY! This is a BFD, and I'm going to love on myself today.

Friends, how often have you achieved something HUGE (buying that house, getting that degree, starting a new job, writing a BOOK) and then downplayed your success? What "unpaid passengers" are you still carrying that prevents you from acknowledging the fruit of your labor?

If you've accomplished something recently, big or small, and you haven't celebrated yourself - here's your reminder to do so. You deserve it. You're worth it. Pop those bottles, dance in your living room, and feel free to send me a pic or drop me a line so I can celebrate with you. We earned this party 🎉


Unapologetically,
Pam

Let's Go on a "Road Trip"

Friends, my new single "Road Trip" is out now on all platforms!


I am so immensely proud to share this song with you all. It's perfect timing, as well, as we celebrate the close of African American Music Appreciation Month! "Road Trip" celebrates the legacy of Black American musicians and their roots in the foundations of country, soul, folk, and R&B music. You can hear a blend of all these genres when you listen. 

This song is also very special to me, personally. Road Trip is my "freedom anthem" from a very specific time in my life. I wrote it in 2016, a few months after I settled into my new home after experiencing homelessness, divorce, and career changes for three years. I was still finding who I was after losing so much. Many of the titles that I tied my identity to at that time were gone, and I felt like a toddler trying to navigate the world. Everything was new, everything was loud, and I was trying to figure out how to be a human in all the newness. 

I was in my room one night in November 2016, and I started hearing this melody and humming the lyrics, "Take a breath, take a step, open up to the view. Take the leap, remember to breathe, don't close your eyes..." I sent a voice note to DeMico with the musical idea, and the rest was history. Seven years later, and these lyrics still call to me. They encourage me to try new things, to breathe fresh air, and to become all of myself. I hope you'll see some of yourself in this song, and love it too. It's here for your listening pleasure!

After listening, leave my comment or drop me a note & let me know what you think! Happy Road Trippin' yall

Unapologetically,
Pam

Make Room for Love

I've been going hard for a long time, yall. From the release of No Unpaid Passengers to the #NUPTour to my WNDR Museum Chicago residency to dozens of interviews, podcasts, speaking engagements, panels, shows & performances - it's been nonstop. I'm also writing, working my education job, and trying to #human in the midst of it all. In short, me the last 9 months:


Wednesday was no exception. Not only did I have a full workday, which included a 4-hr team meeting, but also I had a VIP event Wednesday night. PLUS, the following day, I had an all day work event to prepare for (and a 7:30 a.m. start time). So when my girls picked Wednesday to do happy hour, I was both excited and worried.


I'm at capacity! My calendar is full! ! BUT! ...I also knew I needed this.

When I found myself on a beautiful rooftop in Chicago with sunny 65 degree weather, holding hands, crying, & laughing with 5 of my closest girlfriends, I looked around through my tears and thought: worth it.

Wednesday was healing for my soul. Friendships are so important. We live in a world where it can be easy to get lost in isolation, pain, grief, burnout, or general exhaustion. Your friends, your chosen family, can often be the ones to pull you back in and love you out loud. We need that. And we also deserve that kind of uninhibited love.

As I left the rooftop bar that night to head to my next event, I had the biggest smile. It wasn't just on my face, it was in my heart. I wouldn't always recommend 3 events in one day. But when one of those events is with people who reciprocate your love? Make room where you can. Even in the busiest times, make room for love.

Unapologetically,
Pam
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